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26

Apr

Me:
I don't want to do my homework:(
Brain:
Davey Jacobs would want you to do your homework
Me:
shit you right though, Imma get on it right now

10

Apr

holl0wed:

thottweiler:

sirblaxalot:

um

I JUST SCREAMED AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS

WHAT????

05

Apr

youcantcancelquidditch:

colin firth’s most important role is the scene in bridget jones diary when he’s cooking with his sleeves rolled up and sexy music is playing in the background. like then he goes outside and beats the shit out of hugh grant to “it’s raining men” but stops to pay for someone’s dinner when he bumps into their table, while beatingg the shit out of hugh grant. that’s what women want. 

fiyeroooooo:

When you hear someone mention broadway in the other room

image

In History Class

Teacher:
Does anyone know who wrote The Federalist Papers?
*Raises Hand*
Me:
Alexander joined forces with James Madison and John Jay to write a series of essays defending the new United States constitution entitled The Federalist papers. The plan was to write a total of twenty-five essays, the work divided evenly among the three men. In the end, they wrote eighty-five essays, in the span of six months.
John Jay got sick after writing five.
James Madison wrote twenty-nine.
HAMILTON WROTE THE OTHER 51!

05

Mar

Parks and Rec au

-Jack is Leslie Knope
-Skittery is Ann as hell
-BUMLETS IS CHRIS
-David is Ben obviously
-Medda and Race are Donna and Tom oml
-Spot is Ron af
-Blink is April
-Mush is Andy the sweetheart
-Crutchie is Jerry poor baby

04

Mar

me:
mom I need a new bottle of toothpaste
mom:
finish the one you have sweetie
me:
it's empty
mom:
*squeezes the bottle and out comes extra toothpaste, Henry the VIII, michael jackson's corpse, the missing malaysian airplane, and 4 prisoner refugees*

01

Jan

13

Dec

itey:

How do you watch Newsies without thinking about Blood Drips? I’m asking for a friend.

Me:
/anytime I'm mad at someone/
Me:
SOAK EM FOR CRUTCHIE!